That situation was tense,
I questioned our quest’s worth.
But my mood changed after brownies
and I changed into a festive shirt.
The skies’ and life’s whims
could not match my newly minted mood.
For a storm threatened to break through
like an olden alien brood.
The rain began to fall
causing rivers all around us.
Beneath our feet mud formed
where once there was dust.
A Styrofoam Raft floated by
and we stepped upon its deck,
wishing for hairdryers and umbrellas
for we were soaking wet.
We floated forty days and nights
before the rain had ceased,
then climbed atop a landfill mountain
to see what we could see.
Across that large expanse
I saw where the rainbow ends fell.
We excavated that landfill
looking for supplies to build a sail.
After affixing the sail we set off,
in search once again,
luckily for us the rainbow
ran perpendicular to our headwind.
We reached the rainbow
and looked upward from beneath its arch.
Our hearts filled with madness
though it wasn’t even March.
Suddenly, shortly, I shouted:
“Throw that mast and sail overboard.”
I lassoed the running leprechaun
and he towed us to his horde.
Transportation of any kind
could not beat this autobus.
Upon reaching the end of the rainbow
he spoke thus to us:
“Boys if ye have come for my gold
someone has beat ye to it.
Now I wished I’d invested it
with the Swiss or someone Jewish.
“I joke from the depths of depression,
the gold is gone, there is no unringing that bell.
We leprechauns aren’t immortal,
now I’m doomed to leprechaun hell.
He rambled on,
cursing his luck,
before I interrupted
“Mr. Leprechaun sir?
We’ve come to return some ingots.
We’re sorry it took so long
but we were unsure of where to bring it.”
The leprechaun’s face lit up
and then he lit up his pipe.
“Thanks to me lucky stars,” he says,
“That ye two have come into me life!
Wait right there, I believe
a reward is in order.”
He returned with his hands behind his back and asked:
“How would ye fancy a quarter?”
I looked at him silent
and pondered what he meant.
He said, “Surely ye don’t think
I’m meaning twenty-five cents.
“I meant a quarter pound.”
and he showed us two sacks.
We each did a double-take
before asking “What is that?”
He said “A quarter pound
of four leaf clover.
The best weed in the world,
flown in from Dover.”
So we broke out the gas mask bong
and got high with that leprechaun.
We fell asleep and when we awoke
he and his gold were gone.
I never saw him again
though I think of him often.
I even once moved
to the Irish part of Boston.
Thinking that might increase
my chances of a rendezvous,
but it never came about
and old age has replaced my youth!